I drove into town today to drop off some plants at Mom & Dad’s shop. I decided to walk down Merchant St. to see if anything was going on. There wasn’t much. But, Greg called me so I ducked into the coffee shop so we could chat. He got a job in San Fran and will be out of the apartment by September first. Yes, I must go get the rest of my stuff.
I’m on the phone with him and we end up in a conversation with the waitress, and I hand her my phone so Greg can talk to her. She was cute. She looked kinda young but she had a sleeve full of tats, so my guess is she’s got a wild side. Once I got my phone back I made sure the girl was cool with whatever they’d been talking about. She said she was; he was trying to pick her up but she has a boyfriend – blah blah blah.
She and I start talking about dating and how she always has a steady boyfriend. I said it’s better to play the field, party, have fun, spread yourself around. You’d have thought I told her to go kill some puppies. She whined on and on about how wrong I was, how people need to have a deep, meaningful relationship to be a complete person.
I said, “I’m a complete person on my own. There’s really only one object of a date – to get laid. All you need to do is talk to the other person long enough to make sure they’re not some kind of psycho, and to have mutual consent – that’s it.”She got really pissed and went off on me how relationships are about more than sex. The more she whined, the more of a dick I became. I countered every one of her melodramatic sentiments with the most chauvinistic remarks I could come up with. This chick just set me off. Tell me what is wrong with having fun? Not being tied down? Enjoying the party? Nothing!
Just to clarify (in case future generations read this when I become a famous author and some asshat gets a hold of this) I am not a chauvinist (nor a misogynist nor a misanthrope) I LOVE women. Women are great. Having sex with one (or two – never tried three) is the best. I just don’t think you have to be in a long term, committed relationship with one.Long term committed relationships are fine and dandy if that’s your thing. Look at Mom and Dad and they’re great together. It’s just not for me, not right now – maybe not ever, I don’t know.
2 a.m.If I was in some sort of a long term committed relationship with some girl, I guess we’d have to do more than just have sex. Here’s what I’d do.
I’d get a bottle of wine. I’d pick her up and drive up to the scenic overlook just on the other side of the pass. It’s an awesome place to watch the sunset. We’d have a glass of wine, talk about – whatever.
Then we’d drive over to a little honky-tonk I know. They’ve got great steaks, cheap drinks, and usually a really good live band. We’d eat, drink, dance the night away.After that, I’d take her back to my place and we’d have sex. We could fool around till the sun came up.
See, it still ends up with us in bed.
4 a.m.I could do a date where it doesn’t end with sex. Me on Rem, her on some other horse, state forest lands, need I say more. BAM – the perfect date, no sex.